Working with the MacArthur Network on Mind Body Integration, Cacioppo has traced the causal pathways linking prolonged emotional isolation with other health factors ranging from impaired immune function, high blood pressure, impaired sleep, and increased consumption of fatty foods. His work has also shown specific restorative benefits to the harmonious feeling of inclusion.

 

“We are following Cacioppo’s lead in studying the intersection of health, relationships, and emotions,” says Gonzaga. “Our working hypothesis is that marriage may amplify either the negative or the positive co-regulatory health effects of social stress and social contentment.” 

 

“Positive affect and positive behaviors compound with interest,” Buckwalter says. “If you can change the emotional tenor of an exchange between partners, then the positive behaviors return, and then you do literally get this upward spiral.” eHarmony already markets an online marriage tutorial, and as Buckwalter explains, its research is targeted in part toward improving that instrument.

 

“You don’t necessarily see the health consequences until you’re well down the road,” Gonzaga adds. “Every stressor requires an up-regulation, and then a return to normal. The more times you have to adjust up and then down, eventually the system begins to fray.”

 

In one of Cacioppo’s earliest studies in this area, he and colleagues observed 90 newlywed couples over a 24-hour period, during which the team assessed how each partner responded emotionally during discussion of marital problems, and then subjected each partner to various physiological tests. Perhaps not surprisingly, a highly negative emotional response was associated with larger increases in blood pressure, as well as a slower return to normal. But those with a negative or hostile emotional style also showed greater decline in four different measures of immunological function.

 

“Over time, even these small changes can have huge downstream effects,” Gonzaga says. “How much are these minor differences magnified during the early transition to marriage, or at the time of the first child? And can we find better ways to intervene, to help people get better at resolving conflict?”

 

“If we can get people to acknowledge, ‘We’re getting better at this…we argue less now,’” says Buckwalter, “then that’s great. But it’s even better if they’re also noticing and saying, ‘I feel better, too. I’m sleeping better.’ They’ll have more energy…even more energy to put back into improving the relationship.”

 

“It’s all about the day to day stuff,” says Gonzaga. “And every day the spiral either goes up a little or down a little.”